Passover Quiz 2016
© Rabbi Noah Farkas
According to the Haaretz Newspaper, The United States Transportation Security Administration has promised to act sensitively with passengers traveling during Passover. A statement posted on the website of the administration, said that it anticipated an increase in the number of individuals travelling before and during Passover carrying boxes of matzah, which are consumed as part of the Passover ritual. Passengers should be assured that they can put the Matza in the x-ray scanner without worrying of invalidating its use for the holiday. “As long as it’s wrapped, no moisture or other crumbs will infiltrate the matza rendering it unfit, or treif” one TSA agent familiar with the laws of Passover said. However Matza, “can be machine or handmade and are typically very thin and fragile, and break easily.” Passengers may request a hand inspection … of the items at the security checkpoint.” (TRUE) From April 12, 2014
It’s Like Uber…
Today everyone wants to create the next Uber. In this game I’ll pitch an APP with a Jewish twist and you have to name that App.
For example, If I said, “It’s like Uber but it’s for everything Jewish”
You might say the app is called “Jewber”
It’s like Uber, except it delivers fresh green onions to your doorstep just in time to whack your siblings while you all sing this traditional seder song. Dayenuber
It’s like Uber, but it tells you when the next concert is for the Hasidic now simply spiritual reggae and rock sensation. Matisiyahuber
It’s like Uber for the Oscar winning, Broadway show about a Milkman and his troublesome Daughters. Fidluber on the Roof.
It’s the God-praising app for the 21st first century! It’s like Uber except it’s based totally on the Book of Psalms. Haleluber
Jewish Composer George Gershwin’s most famous composition written in 1924 has come to your iPhone! With a touch of a button you can hear this gritty, jazzy, musical masterpiece over and over again! Rhapcity in Bluebluber
Who wants to be a Billonaire! Now you can find out how from America’s most centrist Jewish businessman and one time Mayor of New York City. This is app instantly streams excoriating advice about how to invest your money, take more power for yourself, and which sodas to ban in your home! Micahel Blooberberg
Now make up your own!
Wild Animals! The plague of wild beasts ravaged the countryside of Egypt. Here are some fun mashups!
If we imagined a red crustacean gangster that boiled its enemies alive and served them with butter, it would be called a Lobster Mobster.
Pet Python’s Birthday : Snake Cake
This lumbering mammal came wandering through Egypt knocking down doors in order to sell pyramid scheme type hand lotions to Egyptian housewives. Her tenacity in not saying no and never leaving their front porch was torture enough. This animal is called what? Skin Care Bear
This king of the jungle accosted Egyptian families with the vacation discounts including free tickets to the Sunday Luau and fire shore. All the Egyptians had to do was to sit through a three hour presentation about the wonderful opportunities of fractional ownership in his pride’s new resort called the Shvindel Gardens. Hawaiian Lion
Swimming lazily up from the Nile this enormous reptile gathers his buddies together to lay down a beat so they can rap about all the other animals ravaging the land of Egypt. Of course no one has the moves or rhythms like this guy. Freestyle Crocodile.
Spelling Jewish Words for Passover and other times
Haligh ( Haroset)
The Great Jewish Conspiracy
I name the relative you name the candidate or elected official.
Jared Kushner the son of New York Jewish real estate mogul Charles Kushner, goes to Orthodox synagogue Kehilath Jeshurun. He and his wife Ivanka have two children who to the Ramaz School. When Jared was dating he told his then girlfriend, needed to convert. Now their Zaydie running for President.
Marc Mezvinsky was born to Ed Mezvinsky and Marjorie Margolies. Both of his parents at one time served in Congress. Marc met the love of his life, Chelsea, as a teenager at a political retreat. Their love grew and they finally married in 2010. The 38-year-old investment banker has been going to his job and tending to the couple’s 16-month-old daughter, Charlotte and staying off the campaign trail for his mother in law.
Raine Riggs, a neuropsychologist married into the anti-establishment family from Vermont. Her Husband, Levi, is an advocate for people seeking Social Security benefits. They have three children they adopted from China. Levi, 46 grew up in a activist family who patriarch, in keeping with his anti authoritarian ways, insisted that Levi never call him Dad. Rather, Levi could be heard calling out to his father during crowded community meetings in their small apartment saying, “Bernard! Bernard!”
Rafael, a Cuban born self-styled evangelical preacher, of a particular sort is the father of this candidate. Rafael preaches a type Christian theology called Dominionism which asserts that the American government and the institutions of society should be dominated by fundamentalist Christians and that our laws should be modelled on a literal interpretation of Bible. His son, a graduate of Princeton and Harvard and serving as the Junior Senator from Texas, has suggested that that he was sent on a mission by God to run for president. After winning the Iowa Caucuses, he held firm in his belief that America was built on “Judeo-Christian values” A term that some in the Jewish community have seen as appropriating Judaism into a larger schema of Christianity. Leading one Jewish leader to write, “[W]hen you use the term “Judeo-Christian” to really mean “Christian,” you erase the distinctions between our faiths — and you essentially erase Jews.
Who’s the Boss of the Bible?
Joseph – Pharaoh
Nathan – David
Isaiah – Ahaz, Hezekiah